Why Forgive?

Why Forgive? 

Here are my notes from Sunday. Take the time to study and meditate these scriptures and statements. The 4 Step Cycle to Forgive at the end of these notes is from Pastor Andy Stanley.

Matthew 18:21-22

  • It's become sadly apparent that a lot of people have a misconception about what forgiveness is.

  • Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.

  • Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

  • In the Scriptures, forgiveness is never presented as a feeling; it’s always described as a decision.

  • Forgiveness always feels like a decision to reward your enemy.

  • Forgiveness ensures your freedom from a prison of bitterness and resentment.

  • Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.

Colossians 3:12-14

  • Forgive because the Lord has forgiven you

  • If you keep your eyes on the cross, forgiveness is a responsibility from one undeserving soul to another.

  • As a believer, you’re called to view forgiveness from the perspective of the cross.

Ephesians 4:32

  • Have you forgotten what you have been forgiven of?

  • Paul felt free to command the Christians to forgive because they also had been freely forgiven

  • If you are hesitant to forgive, it’s because you are evaluating your forgiveness in light of what was done to you rather than what was done for you.

  • You don’t forgive because the other person deserves it; you forgive because you’ve been forgiven.

  • If you are committed to keeping your heart free of anger and bitterness then forgiveness is a way of life for you

  • Forgiveness is the first line of defense in the face of hurt and disappointment.

Mark 11:25

1. Identify who you’re angry with.

  • Who do you hope to never see again? Who do you find yourself having imaginary conversations with? Who would you like to pay back if you thought you could get away with it? Who do you secretly desire to see fail?

2. Determine what they owe you.

  • General forgiveness doesn’t heal specific hurts.

  • You know what the person who hurt you did, but what exactly did they take?

  • Until you know the answer to that question, you’re not ready to forgive.

3. Cancel the debt.

  • This transaction is between you and God.

  • You are deciding that your offender doesn’t owe you anything anymore.

  • Prayer: Heavenly Father, _________ has taken _________ from me. I have held on to this debt long enough. I choose to cancel this debt. _________ doesn’t owe me anymore. Just as you forgave me, I forgive _________.

4. Dismiss the case.

  • Your feelings don’t automatically follow your decision to forgive.

  • Truly forgiving doesn’t always entail truly forgetting.

  • Your feelings are generally the last thing to come around.

DaVon Alexander